WhileSirWalterandElizabethwereassiduouslypushingtheirgoodfortuneinLauraPlace, Annewasrenewinganacquaintanceof a verydifferentdescription.
1
Shehadcalledonherformergoverness, andhadheardfromheroftherebeinganoldschool-fellowinBath, whohadthetwostrongclaimsonherattentionofpastkindnessandpresentsuffering. MissHamilton, nowMrsSmith, hadshewnherkindnessinoneofthoseperiodsofherlifewhenithadbeenmostvaluable. Annehadgoneunhappytoschool, grievingforthelossof a motherwhomshehaddearlyloved, feelingherseparationfromhome, andsufferingas a girloffourteen, ofstrongsensibilityandnothighspirits, mustsufferatsuch a time; andMissHamilton, threeyearsolderthanherself, butstillfromthewantofnearrelationsand a settledhome, remaininganotheryearatschool, hadbeenusefulandgoodtoherin a waywhichhadconsiderablylessenedhermisery, andcouldneverberememberedwithindifference.
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MissHamiltonhadleftschool, hadmarriednotlongafterwards, wassaidtohavemarried a manoffortune, andthiswasallthatAnnehadknownofher, tillnowthattheirgoverness's accountbroughthersituationforwardin a moredecidedbutverydifferentform.
3
Shewas a widowandpoor. Herhusbandhadbeenextravagant; andathisdeath, abouttwoyearsbefore, hadlefthisaffairsdreadfullyinvolved. Shehadhaddifficultiesofeverysorttocontendwith, andinadditiontothesedistresseshadbeenafflictedwith a severerheumaticfever, which, finallysettlinginherlegs, hadmadeherforthepresent a cripple. ShehadcometoBathonthataccount, andwasnowinlodgingsnearthehotbaths, livingin a veryhumbleway, unableeventoaffordherselfthecomfortof a servant, andofcoursealmostexcludedfromsociety.
Thevisitwaspaid, theiracquaintancere-established, theirinterestineachothermorethanre-kindled. Thefirsttenminuteshaditsawkwardnessanditsemotion. Twelveyearsweregonesincetheyhadparted, andeachpresented a somewhatdifferentpersonfromwhattheotherhadimagined. TwelveyearshadchangedAnnefromtheblooming, silent, unformedgirloffifteen, totheelegantlittlewomanofseven-and-twenty, witheverybeautyexceptbloom, andwithmannersasconsciouslyrightastheywereinvariablygentle; andtwelveyearshadtransformedthefine-looking, well-grownMissHamilton, inalltheglowofhealthandconfidenceofsuperiority, into a poor, infirm, helplesswidow, receivingthevisitofherformerprotegeeas a favour; butallthatwasuncomfortableinthemeetinghadsoonpassedaway, andleftonlytheinterestingcharmofrememberingformerpartialitiesandtalkingoveroldtimes.
6
AnnefoundinMrsSmiththegoodsenseandagreeablemannerswhichshehadalmostventuredtodependon, and a dispositiontoconverseandbecheerfulbeyondherexpectation. Neitherthedissipationsofthepast--andshehadlivedverymuchintheworld--northerestrictionsofthepresent, neithersicknessnorsorrowseemedtohaveclosedherheartorruinedherspirits.
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Inthecourseof a secondvisitshetalkedwithgreatopenness, andAnne's astonishmentincreased. Shecouldscarcelyimagine a morecheerlesssituationinitselfthanMrsSmith's. Shehadbeenveryfondofherhusband: shehadburiedhim. Shehadbeenusedtoaffluence: itwasgone. Shehadnochildtoconnectherwithlifeandhappinessagain, norelationstoassistinthearrangementofperplexedaffairs, nohealthtomakealltherestsupportable. Heraccommodationswerelimitedto a noisyparlour, and a darkbedroombehind, withnopossibilityofmovingfromonetotheotherwithoutassistance, whichtherewasonlyoneservantinthehousetoafford, andsheneverquittedthehousebuttobeconveyedintothewarmbath. Yet, inspiteofallthis, Annehadreasontobelievethatshehadmomentsonlyoflanguoranddepression, tohoursofoccupationandenjoyment. Howcoulditbe? Shewatched, observed, reflected, andfinallydeterminedthatthiswasnot a caseoffortitudeorofresignationonly. A submissivespiritmightbepatient, a strongunderstandingwouldsupplyresolution, butherewassomethingmore; herewasthatelasticityofmind, thatdispositiontobecomforted, thatpowerofturningreadilyfromeviltogood, andoffindingemploymentwhichcarriedheroutofherself, whichwasfromnaturealone. ItwasthechoicestgiftofHeaven; andAnneviewedherfriendasoneofthoseinstancesinwhich, by a mercifulappointment, itseemsdesignedtocounterbalancealmosteveryotherwant.
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Therehadbeen a time, MrsSmithtoldher, whenherspiritshadnearlyfailed. Shecouldnotcallherselfaninvalidnow, comparedwithherstateonfirstreachingBath. Thenshehad, indeed, been a pitiableobject; forshehadcaughtcoldonthejourney, andhadhardlytakenpossessionofherlodgingsbeforeshewasagainconfinedtoherbedandsufferingundersevereandconstantpain; andallthisamongstrangers, withtheabsolutenecessityofhaving a regularnurse, andfinancesatthatmomentparticularlyunfittomeetanyextraordinaryexpense. Shehadweatheredit, however, andcouldtrulysaythatithaddonehergood. Ithadincreasedhercomfortsbymakingherfeelherselftobeingoodhands. Shehadseentoomuchoftheworld, toexpectsuddenordisinterestedattachmentanywhere, butherillnesshadprovedtoherthatherlandladyhad a charactertopreserve, andwouldnotuseherill; andshehadbeenparticularlyfortunateinhernurse, as a sisterofherlandlady, a nursebyprofession, andwhohadalways a homeinthathousewhenunemployed, chancedtobeatlibertyjustintimetoattendher. "Andshe," saidMrsSmith, "besidesnursingmemostadmirably, hasreallyprovedaninvaluableacquaintance. Assoonas I couldusemyhandsshetaughtmetoknit, whichhasbeen a greatamusement; andsheputmeinthewayofmakingtheselittlethread-cases, pin-cushionsandcard-racks, whichyoualwaysfindmesobusyabout, andwhichsupplymewiththemeansofdoing a littlegoodtooneortwoverypoorfamiliesinthisneighbourhood. Shehad a largeacquaintance, ofcourseprofessionally, amongthosewhocanaffordtobuy, andshedisposesofmymerchandise. Shealwaystakestherighttimeforapplying. Everybody's heartisopen, youknow, whentheyhaverecentlyescapedfromseverepain, orarerecoveringtheblessingofhealth, andNurseRookethoroughlyunderstandswhentospeak. Sheis a shrewd, intelligent, sensiblewoman. Hersis a lineforseeinghumannature; andshehas a fundofgoodsenseandobservation, which, as a companion, makeherinfinitelysuperiortothousandsofthosewhohavingonlyreceived 'thebesteducationintheworld,' knownothingworthattendingto. Callitgossip, ifyouwill, butwhenNurseRookehashalfanhour's leisuretobestowonme, sheissuretohavesomethingtorelatethatisentertainingandprofitable: somethingthatmakesoneknowone's speciesbetter. Onelikestohearwhatisgoingon, tobeaufaitastothenewestmodesofbeingtriflingandsilly. Tome, wholivesomuchalone, herconversation, I assureyou, is a treat."
"Yes," saidMrsSmithmoredoubtingly, "sometimesitmay, though I fearitslessonsarenotoftenintheelevatedstyleyoudescribe. Hereandthere, humannaturemaybegreatintimesoftrial; butgenerallyspeaking, itisitsweaknessandnotitsstrengththatappearsin a sickchamber: itisselfishnessandimpatienceratherthangenerosityandfortitude, thatonehearsof. Thereissolittlerealfriendshipintheworld! andunfortunately" (speakinglowandtremulously) "therearesomanywhoforgettothinkseriouslytillitisalmosttoolate."
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Annesawthemiseryofsuchfeelings. Thehusbandhadnotbeenwhatheought, andthewifehadbeenledamongthatpartofmankindwhichmadeherthinkworseoftheworldthanshehopeditdeserved. Itwasbut a passingemotionhoweverwithMrsSmith; sheshookitoff, andsoonaddedin a differenttone--
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"I donotsupposethesituationmyfriendMrsRookeisinatpresent, willfurnishmucheithertointerestoredifyme. SheisonlynursingMrsWallisofMarlboroughBuildings; a merepretty, silly, expensive, fashionablewoman, I believe; andofcoursewillhavenothingtoreportbutoflaceandfinery. I meantomakemyprofitofMrsWallis, however. Shehasplentyofmoney, and I intendsheshallbuyallthehigh-pricedthings I haveinhandnow."
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Annehadcalledseveraltimesonherfriend, beforetheexistenceofsuch a personwasknowninCamdenPlace. Atlast, itbecamenecessarytospeakofher. SirWalter, ElizabethandMrsClay, returnedonemorningfromLauraPlace, with a suddeninvitationfromLadyDalrympleforthesameevening, andAnnewasalreadyengaged, tospendthateveninginWestgateBuildings. Shewasnotsorryfortheexcuse. Theywereonlyasked, shewassure, becauseLadyDalrymplebeingkeptathomeby a badcold, wasgladtomakeuseoftherelationshipwhichhadbeensopressedonher; andshedeclinedonherownaccountwithgreatalacrity--"Shewasengagedtospendtheeveningwithanoldschoolfellow." TheywerenotmuchinterestedinanythingrelativetoAnne; butstilltherewerequestionsenoughasked, tomakeitunderstoodwhatthisoldschoolfellowwas; andElizabethwasdisdainful, andSirWaltersevere.
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"WestgateBuildings!" saidhe, "andwhoisMissAnneElliottobevisitinginWestgateBuildings? A MrsSmith. A widowMrsSmith; andwhowasherhusband? OneoffivethousandMrSmithswhosenamesaretobemetwitheverywhere. Andwhatisherattraction? Thatsheisoldandsickly. Uponmyword, MissAnneElliot, youhavethemostextraordinarytaste! Everythingthatrevoltsotherpeople, lowcompany, paltryrooms, foulair, disgustingassociationsareinvitingtoyou. Butsurelyyoumayputoffthisoldladytillto-morrow: sheisnotsonearherend, I presume, butthatshemayhopetoseeanotherday. Whatisherage? Forty?"
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"No, sir, sheisnotone-and-thirty; but I donotthink I canputoffmyengagement, becauseitistheonlyeveningforsometimewhichwillatoncesuitherandmyself. Shegoesintothewarmbathto-morrow, andfortherestoftheweek, youknow, weareengaged."
"Sheseesnothingtoblameinit," repliedAnne; "onthecontrary, sheapprovesit, andhasgenerallytakenmewhen I havecalledonMrsSmith."
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"WestgateBuildingsmusthavebeenrathersurprisedbytheappearanceof a carriagedrawnupnearitspavement," observedSirWalter. "SirHenryRussell's widow, indeed, hasnohonourstodistinguishherarms, butstillitis a handsomeequipage, andnodoubtiswellknowntoconvey a MissElliot. A widowMrsSmithlodginginWestgateBuildings! A poorwidowbarelyabletolive, betweenthirtyandforty; a mereMrsSmith, anevery-dayMrsSmith, ofallpeopleandallnamesintheworld, tobethechosenfriendofMissAnneElliot, andtobepreferredbyhertoherownfamilyconnectionsamongthenobilityofEnglandandIreland! MrsSmith! Such a name!"
Annekeptherappointment; theotherskepttheirs, andofcoursesheheardthenextmorningthattheyhadhad a delightfulevening. Shehadbeentheonlyoneofthesetabsent, forSirWalterandElizabethhadnotonlybeenquiteatherladyship's servicethemselves, buthadactuallybeenhappytobeemployedbyherincollectingothers, andhadbeenatthetroubleofinvitingbothLadyRussellandMrElliot; andMrElliothadmade a pointofleavingColonelWallisearly, andLadyRussellhadfresharrangedallhereveningengagementsinordertowaitonher. AnnehadthewholehistoryofallthatsuchaneveningcouldsupplyfromLadyRussell. Toher, itsgreatestinterestmustbe, inhavingbeenverymuchtalkedofbetweenherfriendandMrElliot; inhavingbeenwishedfor, regretted, andatthesametimehonouredforstayingawayinsuch a cause. Herkind, compassionatevisitstothisoldschoolfellow, sickandreduced, seemedtohavequitedelightedMrElliot. Hethoughther a mostextraordinaryyoungwoman; inhertemper, manners, mind, a modeloffemaleexcellence. HecouldmeetevenLadyRussellin a discussionofhermerits; andAnnecouldnotbegiventounderstandsomuchbyherfriend, couldnotknowherselftobesohighlyratedby a sensibleman, withoutmanyofthoseagreeablesensationswhichherfriendmeanttocreate.
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LadyRussellwasnowperfectlydecidedinheropinionofMrElliot. ShewasasmuchconvincedofhismeaningtogainAnneintimeasofhisdeservingher, andwasbeginningtocalculatethenumberofweekswhichwouldfreehimfromalltheremainingrestraintsofwidowhood, andleavehimatlibertytoexerthismostopenpowersofpleasing. ShewouldnotspeaktoAnnewithhalfthecertaintyshefeltonthesubject, shewouldventureonlittlemorethanhintsofwhatmightbehereafter, of a possibleattachmentonhisside, ofthedesirablenessofthealliance, supposingsuchattachmenttoberealandreturned. Anneheardher, andmadenoviolentexclamations; sheonlysmiled, blushed, andgentlyshookherhead.
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"I amnomatch-maker, asyouwellknow," saidLadyRussell, "beingmuchtoowellawareoftheuncertaintyofallhumaneventsandcalculations. I onlymeanthatifMrElliotshouldsometimehencepayhisaddressestoyou, andifyoushouldbedisposedtoaccepthim, I thinktherewouldbeeverypossibilityofyourbeinghappytogether. A mostsuitableconnectioneverybodymustconsiderit, but I thinkitmightbe a veryhappyone."
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"MrElliotisanexceedinglyagreeableman, andinmanyrespects I thinkhighlyofhim," saidAnne; "butweshouldnotsuit."
Annewasobligedtoturnaway, torise, towalkto a distanttable, and, leaningthereinpretendedemployment, trytosubduethefeelingsthispictureexcited. For a fewmomentsherimaginationandherheartwerebewitched. Theideaofbecomingwhathermotherhadbeen; ofhavingthepreciousnameof "LadyElliot" firstrevivedinherself; ofbeingrestoredtoKellynch, callingitherhomeagain, herhomeforever, was a charmwhichshecouldnotimmediatelyresist. LadyRussellsaidnotanotherword, willingtoleavethemattertoitsownoperation; andbelievingthat, couldMrElliotatthatmomentwithproprietyhavespokenforhimself!--shebelieved, inshort, whatAnnedidnotbelieve. ThesameimageofMrElliotspeakingforhimselfbroughtAnnetocomposureagain. ThecharmofKellynchandof "LadyElliot" allfadedaway. Shenevercouldaccepthim. Anditwasnotonlythatherfeelingswerestilladversetoanymansaveone; herjudgement, on a seriousconsiderationofthepossibilitiesofsuch a case, wasagainstMrElliot.
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Thoughtheyhadnowbeenacquainted a month, shecouldnotbesatisfiedthatshereallyknewhischaracter. Thathewas a sensibleman, anagreeableman, thathetalkedwell, professedgoodopinions, seemedtojudgeproperlyandas a manofprinciple, thiswasallclearenough. Hecertainlyknewwhatwasright, norcouldshefixonanyonearticleofmoraldutyevidentlytransgressed; butyetshewouldhavebeenafraidtoanswerforhisconduct. Shedistrustedthepast, ifnotthepresent. Thenameswhichoccasionallydroptofformerassociates, theallusionstoformerpracticesandpursuits, suggestedsuspicionsnotfavourableofwhathehadbeen. Shesawthattherehadbeenbadhabits; thatSundaytravellinghadbeen a commonthing; thattherehadbeen a periodofhislife (andprobablynot a shortone) whenhehadbeen, atleast, carelessinallseriousmatters; and, thoughhemightnowthinkverydifferently, whocouldanswerforthetruesentimentsof a clever, cautiousman, grownoldenoughtoappreciate a faircharacter? Howcoulditeverbeascertainedthathismindwastrulycleansed?
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MrElliotwasrational, discreet, polished, buthewasnotopen. Therewasneveranyburstoffeeling, anywarmthofindignationordelight, attheevilorgoodofothers. This, toAnne, was a decidedimperfection. Herearlyimpressionswereincurable. Sheprizedthefrank, theopen-hearted, theeagercharacterbeyondallothers. Warmthandenthusiasmdidcaptivateherstill. Shefeltthatshecouldsomuchmoredependuponthesincerityofthosewhosometimeslookedorsaid a carelessor a hastything, thanofthosewhosepresenceofmindnevervaried, whosetongueneverslipped.