VACATIONwasapproaching. Theschool- master, alwayssevere, grewsevererandmoreexactingthanever, forhewantedtheschooltomake a goodshowingon "Examination" day. Hisrodandhisferulewereseldomidlenow -- atleastamongthesmallerpupils. Onlythebiggestboys, andyoungladiesofeighteenandtwenty, escapedlashing. Mr. Dobbins' lashingswereveryvigorousones, too; foralthoughhecarried, underhiswig, a perfectlybaldandshinyhead, hehadonlyreachedmiddleage, andtherewasnosignoffeeblenessinhismuscle. Asthegreatdayapproached, allthetyrannythatwasinhimcametothesurface; heseemedtotake a vin- dictivepleasureinpunishingtheleastshortcomings. Theconsequencewas, thatthesmallerboysspenttheirdaysinterrorandsufferingandtheirnightsinplottingrevenge. Theythrewawaynoopportunitytodothemaster a mischief. Buthekeptaheadallthetime. Theretributionthatfollowedeveryvengefulsuccesswassosweepingandmajesticthattheboysalwaysretiredfromthefieldbadlyworsted. Atlasttheycon- spiredtogetherandhitupon a planthatpromised a dazzlingvictory. Theysworeinthesign-painter's boy, toldhimthescheme, andaskedhishelp. Hehadhisownreasonsforbeingdelighted, forthemasterboardedinhisfather's familyandhadgiventheboyamplecausetohatehim. Themaster's wifewouldgoon a visittothecountryin a fewdays, andtherewouldbenothingtointerferewiththeplan; themasteralwayspre- paredhimselfforgreatoccasionsbygettingprettywellfuddled, andthesign-painter's boysaidthatwhenthedominiehadreachedtheproperconditiononExamina- tionEveninghewould "managethething" whilehenappedinhischair; thenhewouldhavehimawakenedattherighttimeandhurriedawaytoschool.
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Inthefulnessoftimetheinterestingoccasionar- rived. Ateightintheeveningtheschoolhousewasbrilliantlylighted, andadornedwithwreathsandfes- toonsoffoliageandflowers. Themastersatthronedinhisgreatchairupon a raisedplatform, withhisblackboardbehindhim. Hewaslookingtolerablymellow. Threerowsofbenchesoneachsideandsixrowsinfrontofhimwereoccupiedbythedignitariesofthetownandbytheparentsofthepupils. Tohisleft, backoftherowsofcitizens, was a spacioustemporaryplatformuponwhichwereseatedthescholarswhoweretotakepartintheexercisesoftheevening; rowsofsmallboys, washedanddressedtoanintolerablestateofdiscomfort; rowsofgawkybigboys; snowbanksofgirlsandyoungladiescladinlawnandmuslinandconspicuouslyconsciousoftheirbarearms, theirgrand- mothers' ancienttrinkets, theirbitsofpinkandblueribbonandtheflowersintheirhair. Alltherestofthehousewasfilledwithnon-participatingscholars.
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Theexercisesbegan. A verylittleboystoodupandsheepishlyrecited, "You'd scarceexpectoneofmyagetospeakinpubliconthestage," etc. -- accompany- inghimselfwiththepainfullyexactandspasmodicgestureswhich a machinemighthaveused -- supposingthemachinetobe a trifleoutoforder. Buthegotthroughsafely, thoughcruellyscared, andgot a fineroundofapplausewhenhemadehismanufacturedbowandretired.
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A littleshamefacedgirllisped, "Maryhad a littlelamb," etc., performed a compassion-inspiringcurtsy, gothermeedofapplause, andsatdownflushedandhappy.
"TheBoyStoodontheBurningDeck" followed; also "TheAssyrianCameDown," andotherdeclama- torygems. Thentherewerereadingexercises, and a spellingfight. ThemeagreLatinclassrecitedwithhonor. Theprimefeatureoftheeveningwasinorder, now -- original "compositions" bytheyoungladies. Eachinherturnsteppedforwardtotheedgeoftheplatform, clearedherthroat, helduphermanuscript (tiedwithdaintyribbon), andproceededtoread, withlaboredattentionto "expression" andpunctuation. Thethemeswerethesamethathadbeenilluminateduponsimilaroccasionsbytheirmothersbeforethem, theirgrandmothers, anddoubtlessalltheirancestorsinthefemalelineclearbacktotheCrusades. "Friend- ship" wasone; "MemoriesofOtherDays"; "ReligioninHistory"; "DreamLand"; "TheAdvantagesofCulture"; "FormsofPoliticalGovernmentComparedandContrasted"; "Melancholy"; "FilialLove"; "HeartLongings," etc., etc.
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A prevalentfeatureinthesecompositionswas a nursedandpettedmelancholy; anotherwas a wastefulandopulentgushof "finelanguage"; anotherwas a tendencytoluginbytheearsparticularlyprizedwordsandphrasesuntiltheywerewornentirelyout; and a peculiaritythatconspicuouslymarkedandmarredthemwastheinveterateandintolerablesermonthatwaggeditscrippledtailattheendofeachandeveryoneofthem. Nomatterwhatthesubjectmightbe, a brain-rackingeffortwasmadetosquirmitintosomeaspectorotherthatthemoralandreligiousmindcouldcontemplatewithedification. Theglaringinsincerityofthesesermonswasnotsufficienttocompassthebanishmentofthefashionfromtheschools, anditisnotsufficientto-day; itneverwillbesufficientwhiletheworldstands, perhaps. Thereisnoschoolinallourlandwheretheyoungladiesdonotfeelobligedtoclosetheircompositionswith a sermon; andyouwillfindthatthesermonofthemostfrivolousandtheleastreligiousgirlintheschoolisalwaysthelongestandthemostrelentlesslypious. Butenoughofthis. Homelytruthisunpalatable.
Andsoforthandsoon. Therewas a buzzofgrati- ficationfromtimetotimeduringthereading, accom- paniedbywhisperedejaculationsof "Howsweet!" "Howeloquent!" "Sotrue!" etc., andafterthethinghadclosedwith a peculiarlyafflictingsermontheapplausewasenthusiastic.
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Thenarose a slim, melancholygirl, whosefacehadthe "interesting" palenessthatcomesofpillsandindi- gestion, andread a "poem." Twostanzasofitwilldo:
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"A MISSOURIMAIDEN'S FAREWELLTOALABAMA
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"Alabama, good-bye! I lovetheewell! Butyetfor a whiledo I leavetheenow! Sad, yes, sadthoughtsoftheemyheartdothswell, Andburningrecollectionsthrongmybrow! For I havewanderedthroughthyflowerywoods; HaveroamedandreadnearTallapoosa's stream; HavelistenedtoTallassee's warringfloods, AndwooedonCoosa's sideAurora's beam.
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"Yetshame I nottobearan o'er-fullheart, Norblushtoturnbehindmytearfuleyes; 'Tisfromnostrangerland I nowmustpart, 'Tistonostrangersleft I yieldthesesighs. WelcomeandhomewereminewithinthisState, Whosevales I leave -- whosespiresfadefastfrommeAndcoldmustbemineeyes, andheart, andtete, When, dearAlabama! theyturncoldonthee!"
Nextappeared a dark-complexioned, black-eyed, black-hairedyounglady, whopausedanimpressivemoment, assumed a tragicexpression, andbegantoreadin a measured, solemntone:
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"A VISION
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"Darkandtempestuouswasnight. Aroundthethroneonhighnot a singlestarquivered; butthedeepintonationsoftheheavythunderconstantlyvibratedupontheear; whilsttheterrificlightningrevelledinangrymoodthroughthecloudychambersofheaven, seemingtoscornthepowerexertedoveritsterrorbytheillustriousFranklin! Eventheboisterouswindsunanimouslycameforthfromtheirmystichomes, andblusteredaboutasiftoenhancebytheiraidthewildnessofthescene.
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"Atsuch a time,sodark,sodreary, forhumansympathymyveryspiritsighed; butinsteadthereof,
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"'Mydearestfriend, mycounsellor, mycomforterandguide -- Myjoyingrief, mysecondblissinjoy,' cametomyside. Shemovedlikeoneofthosebrightbeingspicturedinthesunnywalksoffancy's Edenbytheromanticandyoung, a queenofbeautyunadornedsavebyherowntranscendentloveliness. Sosoftwasherstep, itfailedtomakeeven a sound, andbutforthemagicalthrillimpartedbyhergenialtouch, asotherunobtrusivebeauties, shewouldhaveglidedawayun-perceived -- unsought. A strangesadnessresteduponherfeatures, likeicytearsupontherobeofDecember, asshepointedtothecontendingelementswithout, andbademecontemplatethetwobeingspresented."
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Thisnightmareoccupiedsometenpagesofmanu- scriptandwoundupwith a sermonsodestructiveofallhopetonon-Presbyteriansthatittookthefirstprize. Thiscompositionwasconsideredtobetheveryfinesteffortoftheevening. Themayorofthevillage, indeliveringtheprizetotheauthorofit, made a warmspeechinwhichhesaidthatitwasbyfarthemost "eloquent" thinghehadeverlistenedto, andthatDanielWebsterhimselfmightwellbeproudofit.