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Before LEONATO’S house.
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[Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a Messenger]
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I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon
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comes this night to Messina.
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He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off
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How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?
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But few of any sort, and none of name.
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A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings
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home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath
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bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.
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Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by
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Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the
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promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb,
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the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better
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bettered expectation than you must expect of me to
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He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much
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I have already delivered him letters, and there
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appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could
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not show itself modest enough without a badge of
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Did he break out into tears?
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A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces
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truer than those that are so washed. How much
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better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!
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I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the
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I know none of that name, lady: there was none such
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in the army of any sort.
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What is he that you ask for, niece?
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My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.
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O, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.
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He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged
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Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading
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the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged
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him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he
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killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath
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he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.
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Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much;
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but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.
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He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.
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You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it:
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he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an
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And a good soldier too, lady.
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And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord?
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A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all
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It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man:
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but for the stuffing,—well, we are all mortal.
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You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a
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kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her:
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they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit
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Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last
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conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and
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now is the whole man governed with one: so that if
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he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him
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bear it for a difference between himself and his
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horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left,
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to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his
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companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.
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Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as
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the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the
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I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.
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No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray
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you, who is his companion? Is there no young
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squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?
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He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.
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O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he
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is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker
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runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if
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he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a
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thousand pound ere a' be cured.
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I will hold friends with you, lady.
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You will never run mad, niece.
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No, not till a hot January.
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Don Pedro is approached.
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[Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and BALTHASAR]
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Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your
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trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid
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cost, and you encounter it.
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Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of
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your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should
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remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides
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and happiness takes his leave.
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You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this
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Her mother hath many times told me so.
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Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?
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Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.
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You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this
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what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers
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herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an
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If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not
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have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as
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I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
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Benedick: nobody marks you.
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What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?
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Is it possible disdain should die while she hath
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such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?
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Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come
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Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I
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am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I
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would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard
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heart; for, truly, I love none.
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A dear happiness to women: they would else have
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been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God
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and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I
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had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man
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God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some
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gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate
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Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such
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a face as yours were.
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Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.
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A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
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I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and
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so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's
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You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.
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That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signior Claudio
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and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath
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invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at
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the least a month; and he heartily prays some
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occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no
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hypocrite, but prays from his heart.
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If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.
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Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to
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the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.
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I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank
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Please it your grace lead on?
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Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.
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[Exeunt all except BENEDICK and CLAUDIO]
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Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato?
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I noted her not; but I looked on her.
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Is she not a modest young lady?
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Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for
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my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak
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after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?
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No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment.
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Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high
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praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little
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for a great praise: only this commendation I can
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afford her, that were she other than she is, she
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were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I
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Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me
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truly how thou likest her.
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Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?
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Can the world buy such a jewel?
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Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this
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with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack,
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to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a
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rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take
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you, to go in the song?
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In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I
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I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such
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matter: there's her cousin, an she were not
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possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty
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as the first of May doth the last of December. But I
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hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you?
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I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the
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contrary, if Hero would be my wife.
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Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world
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one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion?
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Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again?
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Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck
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into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away
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Sundays. Look Don Pedro is returned to seek you.
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What secret hath held you here, that you followed
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I would your grace would constrain me to tell.
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I charge thee on thy allegiance.
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You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb
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man; I would have you think so; but, on my
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allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance. He is
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in love. With who? now that is your grace's part.
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Mark how short his answer is;—With Hero, Leonato's
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If this were so, so were it uttered.
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Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor
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'twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be
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If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it
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Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy.
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You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.
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By my troth, I speak my thought.
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And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.
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And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.
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That I love her, I feel.
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That she is worthy, I know.
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That I neither feel how she should be loved nor
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know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that
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fire cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake.
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Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite
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And never could maintain his part but in the force
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That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she
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brought me up, I likewise give her most humble
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thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my
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forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,
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all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do
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them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the
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right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which
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I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.
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I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.
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With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord,
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not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood
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with love than I will get again with drinking, pick
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out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me
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up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of
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Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou
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wilt prove a notable argument.
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If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot
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at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on
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the shoulder, and called Adam.
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Well, as time shall try: 'In time the savage bull
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The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible
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Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set
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them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted,
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and in such great letters as they write 'Here is
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good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign
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'Here you may see Benedick the married man.'
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If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.
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Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in
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Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.
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I look for an earthquake too, then.
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Well, you temporize with the hours. In the
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meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to
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Leonato's: commend me to him and tell him I will
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not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made
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I have almost matter enough in me for such an
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embassage; and so I commit you—
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To the tuition of God: From my house, if I had it,—
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The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick.
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Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your
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discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and
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the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere
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you flout old ends any further, examine your
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conscience: and so I leave you.
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My liege, your highness now may do me good.
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My love is thine to teach: teach it but how,
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And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
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Any hard lesson that may do thee good.
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Hath Leonato any son, my lord?
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No child but Hero; she's his only heir.
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Dost thou affect her, Claudio?
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When you went onward on this ended action,
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I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
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That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
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Than to drive liking to the name of love:
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But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts
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Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
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Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
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All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
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Saying, I liked her ere I went to wars.
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Thou wilt be like a lover presently
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And tire the hearer with a book of words.
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If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
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And I will break with her and with her father,
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And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end
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That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?
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How sweetly you do minister to love,
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That know love's grief by his complexion!
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But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
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I would have salved it with a longer treatise.
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What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
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The fairest grant is the necessity.
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Look, what will serve is fit: 'tis once, thou lovest,
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And I will fit thee with the remedy.
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I know we shall have revelling to-night:
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I will assume thy part in some disguise
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And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,
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And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart
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And take her hearing prisoner with the force
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And strong encounter of my amorous tale:
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Then after to her father will I break;
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And the conclusion is, she shall be thine.
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In practise let us put it presently.
1
A room in LEONATO’s house.
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[Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, meeting]
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How now, brother! Where is my cousin, your son?
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hath he provided this music?
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He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell
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you strange news that you yet dreamt not of.
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As the event stamps them: but they have a good
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cover; they show well outward. The prince and Count
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Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine
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orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine:
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the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my
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niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it
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this night in a dance: and if he found her
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accordant, he meant to take the present time by the
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top and instantly break with you of it.
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Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?
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A good sharp fellow: I will send for him; and
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question him yourself.
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No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear
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itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal,
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that she may be the better prepared for an answer,
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if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it.
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Cousins, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you
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mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your
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skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time.
2
[Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE]
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What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out
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There is no measure in the occasion that breeds;
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therefore the sadness is without limit.
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You should hear reason.
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And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?
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If not a present remedy, at least a patient
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I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art,
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born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral
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medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide
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what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile
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at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait
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for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and
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tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and
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claw no man in his humour.
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Yea, but you must not make the full show of this
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till you may do it without controlment. You have of
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late stood out against your brother, and he hath
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ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is
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impossible you should take true root but by the
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fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful
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that you frame the season for your own harvest.
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I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in
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his grace, and it better fits my blood to be
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disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob
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love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to
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be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied
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but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with
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a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I
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have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my
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mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do
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my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and
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Can you make no use of your discontent?
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I make all use of it, for I use it only.
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I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your
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brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I
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can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.
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Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?
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What is he for a fool that betroths himself to
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Marry, it is your brother's right hand.
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Who? the most exquisite Claudio?
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A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks
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Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.
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A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?
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Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a
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musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand
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in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the
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arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the
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prince should woo Hero for himself, and having
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obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.
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Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to
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my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the
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glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I
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bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?
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To the death, my lord.
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Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the
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greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of
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my mind! Shall we go prove what's to be done?
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We'll wait upon your lordship.
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