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1. Act I, Scene 1
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0
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Windsor. Before PAGE’s house.
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1
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[Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS]
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2
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Robert Shallow.
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3
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Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-
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4
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chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John
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Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
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6
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Slender.
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7
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In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and
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8
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'Coram.'
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9
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Robert Shallow.
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Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.
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Slender.
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Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,
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master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any
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bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'
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Robert Shallow.
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Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three
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hundred years.
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Slender.
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All his successors gone before him hath done't; and
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all his ancestors that come after him may: they may
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give the dozen white luces in their coat.
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Robert Shallow.
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It is an old coat.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;
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it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to
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man, and signifies love.
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Robert Shallow.
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The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.
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Slender.
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I may quarter, coz.
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Robert Shallow.
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You may, by marrying.
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34
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
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Robert Shallow.
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Not a whit.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,
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there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
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simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir
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John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto
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you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my
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benevolence to make atonements and compremises
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between you.
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Robert Shallow.
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The council shall bear it; it is a riot.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no
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fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall
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desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a
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riot; take your vizaments in that.
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Robert Shallow.
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Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword
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should end it.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:
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and there is also another device in my prain, which
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peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there
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is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas
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Page, which is pretty virginity.
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Slender.
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Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks
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small like a woman.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as
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you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,
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and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his
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death's-bed—Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!
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—give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
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old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles
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and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master
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Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
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Slender.
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Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
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Slender.
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I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.
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Robert Shallow.
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Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do
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despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
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is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I
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beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
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peat the door for Master Page.
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[Knocks]
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What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
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Page.
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[Within]Who's there?
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[Enter PAGE]
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice
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Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that
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peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
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matters grow to your likings.
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Page.
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I am glad to see your worships well.
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I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.
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Robert Shallow.
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Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it
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your good heart! I wished your venison better; it
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was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?—and I
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thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.
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Page.
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Sir, I thank you.
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Robert Shallow.
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Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
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Page.
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I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
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Slender.
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How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he
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was outrun on Cotsall.
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Page.
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It could not be judged, sir.
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Slender.
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You'll not confess, you'll not confess.
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121
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Robert Shallow.
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That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;
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'tis a good dog.
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Page.
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A cur, sir.
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Robert Shallow.
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Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be
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more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John
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Falstaff here?
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Page.
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Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good
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office between you.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
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Robert Shallow.
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He hath wronged me, Master Page.
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Page.
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Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
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Robert Shallow.
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If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that
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so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he
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hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert
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Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.
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Page.
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Here comes Sir John.
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[Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL]
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Falstaff.
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Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?
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Robert Shallow.
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Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and
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broke open my lodge.
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152
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Falstaff.
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153
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But not kissed your keeper's daughter?
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Robert Shallow.
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Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
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Falstaff.
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I will answer it straight; I have done all this.
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That is now answered.
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Robert Shallow.
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The council shall know this.
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Falstaff.
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162
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'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:
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you'll be laughed at.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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165
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Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.
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Falstaff.
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167
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Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your
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168
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head: what matter have you against me?
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Slender.
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170
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Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;
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and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
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Nym, and Pistol.
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Bardolph.
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You Banbury cheese!
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Slender.
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Ay, it is no matter.
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Pistol.
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How now, Mephostophilus!
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Slender.
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Ay, it is no matter.
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Nym.
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Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.
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183
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Slender.
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Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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186
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Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is
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three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that
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is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is
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myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,
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lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
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Page.
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We three, to hear it and end it between them.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-
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book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with
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as great discreetly as we can.
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Falstaff.
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Pistol!
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Pistol.
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He hears with ears.
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201
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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202
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The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He
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hears with ear'? why, it is affectations.
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204
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Falstaff.
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205
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Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?
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206
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Slender.
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207
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Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might
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208
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never come in mine own great chamber again else, of
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209
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seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
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210
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shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two
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pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
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212
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Falstaff.
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Is this true, Pistol?
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
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Pistol.
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Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine,
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I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
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Word of denial in thy labras here!
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Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!
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Slender.
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222
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By these gloves, then, 'twas he.
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223
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Nym.
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224
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Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say
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225
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'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's
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humour on me; that is the very note of it.
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Slender.
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By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for
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though I cannot remember what I did when you made me
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230
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drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
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231
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Falstaff.
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232
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What say you, Scarlet and John?
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233
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Bardolph.
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234
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Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk
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235
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himself out of his five sentences.
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236
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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237
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It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!
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238
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Bardolph.
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239
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And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and
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so conclusions passed the careires.
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Slender.
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242
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Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no
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matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,
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but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:
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if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have
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the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
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Sir Hugh Evans.
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248
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So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
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249
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Falstaff.
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250
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You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
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251
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[Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD]
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252
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and MISTRESS PAGE, following]
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253
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Page.
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254
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Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
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255
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[Exit ANNE PAGE]
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256
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Slender.
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257
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O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.
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258
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Page.
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259
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How now, Mistress Ford!
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260
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Falstaff.
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261
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Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:
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262
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by your leave, good mistress.
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263
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[Kisses her]
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264
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Page.
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265
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Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
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266
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hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope
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267
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we shall drink down all unkindness.
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268
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[Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS]
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269
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Slender.
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270
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I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of
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271
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Songs and Sonnets here.
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272
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[Enter SIMPLE]
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273
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How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait
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274
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on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles
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275
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about you, have you?
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276
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Simple.
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277
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Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice
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278
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Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight
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279
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afore Michaelmas?
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280
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Robert Shallow.
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281
|
|
|
Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with
|
|
282
|
|
|
you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a
|
|
283
|
|
|
tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh
|
|
284
|
|
|
here. Do you understand me?
|
|
285
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
286
|
|
|
Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,
|
|
287
|
|
|
I shall do that that is reason.
|
|
288
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
289
|
|
|
Nay, but understand me.
|
|
290
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
291
|
|
|
So I do, sir.
|
|
292
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
293
|
|
|
Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will
|
|
294
|
|
|
description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
|
|
295
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
296
|
|
|
Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray
|
|
297
|
|
|
you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his
|
|
298
|
|
|
country, simple though I stand here.
|
|
299
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
300
|
|
|
But that is not the question: the question is
|
|
301
|
|
|
concerning your marriage.
|
|
302
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
303
|
|
|
Ay, there's the point, sir.
|
|
304
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
305
|
|
|
Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.
|
|
306
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
307
|
|
|
Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
|
|
308
|
|
|
reasonable demands.
|
|
309
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
310
|
|
|
But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to
|
|
311
|
|
|
know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers
|
|
312
|
|
|
philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the
|
|
313
|
|
|
mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
|
|
314
|
|
|
good will to the maid?
|
|
315
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
316
|
|
|
Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
|
|
317
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
318
|
|
|
I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that
|
|
319
|
|
|
would do reason.
|
|
320
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
321
|
|
|
Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak
|
|
322
|
|
|
possitable, if you can carry her your desires
|
|
323
|
|
|
towards her.
|
|
324
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
325
|
|
|
That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
|
|
326
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
327
|
|
|
I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
|
|
328
|
|
|
request, cousin, in any reason.
|
|
329
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
330
|
|
|
Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do
|
|
331
|
|
|
is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
|
|
332
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
333
|
|
|
I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there
|
|
334
|
|
|
be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may
|
|
335
|
|
|
decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are
|
|
336
|
|
|
married and have more occasion to know one another;
|
|
337
|
|
|
I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:
|
|
338
|
|
|
but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that
|
|
339
|
|
|
I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
|
|
340
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
341
|
|
|
It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in
|
|
342
|
|
|
the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our
|
|
343
|
|
|
meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good.
|
|
344
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
345
|
|
|
Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
|
|
346
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
347
|
|
|
Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
|
|
348
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
349
|
|
|
Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
|
|
350
|
|
|
[Re-enter ANNE PAGE]
|
|
351
|
|
|
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
|
|
352
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
353
|
|
|
The dinner is on the table; my father desires your
|
|
354
|
|
|
worships' company.
|
|
355
|
|
|
Robert Shallow.
|
|
356
|
|
|
I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.
|
|
357
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
358
|
|
|
Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
|
| |
|
359
|
|
|
[Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS]
|
| |
|
360
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
361
|
|
|
Will't please your worship to come in, sir?
|
|
362
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
363
|
|
|
No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
|
|
364
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
365
|
|
|
The dinner attends you, sir.
|
|
366
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
367
|
|
|
I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,
|
|
368
|
|
|
sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my
|
|
369
|
|
|
cousin Shallow.
|
|
370
|
|
|
[Exit SIMPLE]
|
|
371
|
|
|
A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his
|
|
372
|
|
|
friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
|
|
373
|
|
|
yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I
|
|
374
|
|
|
live like a poor gentleman born.
|
|
375
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
376
|
|
|
I may not go in without your worship: they will not
|
|
377
|
|
|
sit till you come.
|
|
378
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
379
|
|
|
I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as
|
|
380
|
|
|
though I did.
|
|
381
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
382
|
|
|
I pray you, sir, walk in.
|
|
383
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
384
|
|
|
I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
|
|
385
|
|
|
my shin th' other day with playing at sword and
|
|
386
|
|
|
dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a
|
|
387
|
|
|
dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot
|
|
388
|
|
|
abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
|
|
389
|
|
|
dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?
|
|
390
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
391
|
|
|
I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
|
|
392
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
393
|
|
|
I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at
|
|
394
|
|
|
it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see
|
|
395
|
|
|
the bear loose, are you not?
|
|
396
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
397
|
|
|
Ay, indeed, sir.
|
|
398
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
399
|
|
|
That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
|
|
400
|
|
|
Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
|
|
401
|
|
|
the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
|
|
402
|
|
|
cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
|
|
403
|
|
|
indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored
|
|
404
|
|
|
rough things.
|
| |
|
405
|
|
|
[Re-enter PAGE]
|
| |
|
406
|
|
|
Page.
|
|
407
|
|
|
Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
|
|
408
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
409
|
|
|
I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
|
|
410
|
|
|
Page.
|
|
411
|
|
|
By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.
|
|
412
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
413
|
|
|
Nay, pray you, lead the way.
|
|
414
|
|
|
Page.
|
|
415
|
|
|
Come on, sir.
|
|
416
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
417
|
|
|
Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
|
|
418
|
|
|
Anne Page.
|
|
419
|
|
|
Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.
|
|
420
|
|
|
Slender.
|
|
421
|
|
|
I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
|
|
422
|
|
|
You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!
|
| |
|
423
|
|
|
[Exeunt]
|
| |
| |
|
2. Act I, Scene 2
|
|
0
|
|
|
The same.
|
| |
|
1
|
|
|
[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE]
|
| |
|
2
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
3
|
|
|
Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which
|
|
4
|
|
|
is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly,
|
|
5
|
|
|
which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry
|
|
6
|
|
|
nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and
|
|
7
|
|
|
his wringer.
|
|
8
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
9
|
|
|
Well, sir.
|
|
10
|
|
|
Sir Hugh Evans.
|
|
11
|
|
|
Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it
|
|
12
|
|
|
is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with
|
|
13
|
|
|
Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire
|
|
14
|
|
|
and require her to solicit your master's desires to
|
|
15
|
|
|
Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will
|
|
16
|
|
|
make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.
|
| |
|
17
|
|
|
[Exeunt]
|
| |
| |
|
3. Act I, Scene 3
|
|
0
|
|
|
A room in the Garter Inn.
|
| |
|
1
|
|
|
[Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL,] [p]and ROBIN]
|
| |
|
2
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
3
|
|
|
Mine host of the Garter!
|
|
4
|
|
|
Host.
|
|
5
|
|
|
What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely.
|
|
6
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
7
|
|
|
Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my
|
|
8
|
|
|
followers.
|
|
9
|
|
|
Host.
|
|
10
|
|
|
Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.
|
|
11
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
12
|
|
|
I sit at ten pounds a week.
|
|
13
|
|
|
Host.
|
|
14
|
|
|
Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I
|
|
15
|
|
|
will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall
|
|
16
|
|
|
tap: said I well, bully Hector?
|
|
17
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
18
|
|
|
Do so, good mine host.
|
|
19
|
|
|
Host.
|
|
20
|
|
|
I have spoke; let him follow.
|
|
21
|
|
|
[To BARDOLPH]
|
|
22
|
|
|
Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow.
|
| |
|
23
|
|
|
[Exit]
|
| |
|
24
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
25
|
|
|
Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade:
|
|
26
|
|
|
an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered
|
|
27
|
|
|
serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.
|
|
28
|
|
|
Bardolph.
|
|
29
|
|
|
It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive.
|
|
30
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
31
|
|
|
O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?
|
| |
|
32
|
|
|
[Exit BARDOLPH]
|
| |
|
33
|
|
|
Nym.
|
|
34
|
|
|
He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited?
|
|
35
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
36
|
|
|
I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his
|
|
37
|
|
|
thefts were too open; his filching was like an
|
|
38
|
|
|
unskilful singer; he kept not time.
|
|
39
|
|
|
Nym.
|
|
40
|
|
|
The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.
|
|
41
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
42
|
|
|
'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a fico
|
|
43
|
|
|
for the phrase!
|
|
44
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
45
|
|
|
Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
|
|
46
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
47
|
|
|
Why, then, let kibes ensue.
|
|
48
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
49
|
|
|
There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.
|
|
50
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
51
|
|
|
Young ravens must have food.
|
|
52
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
53
|
|
|
Which of you know Ford of this town?
|
|
54
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
55
|
|
|
I ken the wight: he is of substance good.
|
|
56
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
57
|
|
|
My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
|
|
58
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
59
|
|
|
Two yards, and more.
|
|
60
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
61
|
|
|
No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two
|
|
62
|
|
|
yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about
|
|
63
|
|
|
thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's
|
|
64
|
|
|
wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses,
|
|
65
|
|
|
she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I
|
|
66
|
|
|
can construe the action of her familiar style; and
|
|
67
|
|
|
the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished
|
|
68
|
|
|
rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'
|
|
69
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
70
|
|
|
He hath studied her will, and translated her will,
|
|
71
|
|
|
out of honesty into English.
|
|
72
|
|
|
Nym.
|
|
73
|
|
|
The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?
|
|
74
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
75
|
|
|
Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her
|
|
76
|
|
|
husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels.
|
|
77
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
78
|
|
|
As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.
|
|
79
|
|
|
Nym.
|
|
80
|
|
|
The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.
|
|
81
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
82
|
|
|
I have writ me here a letter to her: and here
|
|
83
|
|
|
another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good
|
|
84
|
|
|
eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious
|
|
85
|
|
|
oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my
|
|
86
|
|
|
foot, sometimes my portly belly.
|
|
87
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
88
|
|
|
Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
|
|
89
|
|
|
Nym.
|
|
90
|
|
|
I thank thee for that humour.
|
|
91
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
92
|
|
|
O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a
|
|
93
|
|
|
greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did
|
|
94
|
|
|
seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's
|
|
95
|
|
|
another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she
|
|
96
|
|
|
is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will
|
|
97
|
|
|
be cheater to them both, and they shall be
|
|
98
|
|
|
exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West
|
|
99
|
|
|
Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou
|
|
100
|
|
|
this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to
|
|
101
|
|
|
Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
|
|
102
|
|
|
Pistol.
|
|
103
|
|
|
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
|
|
104
|
|
|
And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!
|
|
105
|
|
|
Nym.
|
|
106
|
|
|
I will run no base humour: here, take the
|
|
107
|
|
|
humour-letter: I will keep the havior of reputation.
|
|
108
|
|
|
Falstaff.
|
|
109
|
|
|
[To ROBIN]Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
|
|
110
|
|
|
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
|
|
111
|
|
|
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
|
|
112
|
|
|
Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!
|
|
113
|
|
|
Falstaff will learn the humour of the age,
|
|
114
|
|
|
French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page.
|
| |
|
115
|
|
|
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN]
|
| |
|
116
|
|
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Pistol.
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117
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Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,
|
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118
|
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|
And high and low beguiles the rich and poor:
|
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119
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Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
|
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120
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Base Phrygian Turk!
|
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121
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Nym.
|
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122
|
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I have operations which be humours of revenge.
|
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123
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Pistol.
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124
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Wilt thou revenge?
|
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125
|
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Nym.
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126
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By welkin and her star!
|
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127
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Pistol.
|
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128
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With wit or steel?
|
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129
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Nym.
|
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130
|
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With both the humours, I:
|
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131
|
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|
I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
|
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132
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Pistol.
|
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133
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And I to Ford shall eke unfold
|
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134
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|
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
|
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135
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|
His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
|
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136
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|
And his soft couch defile.
|
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137
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Nym.
|
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138
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|
My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to
|
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139
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|
|
deal with poison; I will possess him with
|
|
140
|
|
|
yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous:
|
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141
|
|
|
that is my true humour.
|
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142
|
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Pistol.
|
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143
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Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on.
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144
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[Exeunt]
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| |
|
4. Act I, Scene 4
|
|
0
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|
A room in DOCTOR CAIUS’ house.
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| |
|
1
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[Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY]
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|
2
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Hostess Quickly.
|
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3
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|
What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement,
|
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4
|
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|
and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor
|
|
5
|
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|
Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any
|
|
6
|
|
|
body in the house, here will be an old abusing of
|
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7
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|
God's patience and the king's English.
|
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8
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|
Rugby.
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|
9
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|
I'll go watch.
|
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10
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Hostess Quickly.
|
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11
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|
Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in
|
|
12
|
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|
faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
|
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13
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|
[Exit RUGBY]
|
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14
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|
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant
|
|
15
|
|
|
shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no
|
|
16
|
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|
tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is,
|
|
17
|
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|
that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish
|
|
18
|
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|
that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let
|
|
19
|
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|
that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?
|
|
20
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
21
|
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|
Ay, for fault of a better.
|
|
22
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
23
|
|
|
And Master Slender's your master?
|
|
24
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
25
|
|
|
Ay, forsooth.
|
|
26
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
27
|
|
|
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
|
|
28
|
|
|
glover's paring-knife?
|
|
29
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
30
|
|
|
No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a
|
|
31
|
|
|
little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard.
|
|
32
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
33
|
|
|
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
|
|
34
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
35
|
|
|
Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands
|
|
36
|
|
|
as any is between this and his head; he hath fought
|
|
37
|
|
|
with a warrener.
|
|
38
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
39
|
|
|
How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not
|
|
40
|
|
|
hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?
|
|
41
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
42
|
|
|
Yes, indeed, does he.
|
|
43
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
44
|
|
|
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell
|
|
45
|
|
|
Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your
|
|
46
|
|
|
master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
|
| |
|
47
|
|
|
[Re-enter RUGBY]
|
| |
|
48
|
|
|
Rugby.
|
|
49
|
|
|
Out, alas! here comes my master.
|
|
50
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
51
|
|
|
We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man;
|
|
52
|
|
|
go into this closet: he will not stay long.
|
|
53
|
|
|
[Shuts SIMPLE in the closet]
|
|
54
|
|
|
What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!
|
|
55
|
|
|
Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt
|
|
56
|
|
|
he be not well, that he comes not home.
|
|
57
|
|
|
[Singing]
|
|
58
|
|
|
And down, down, adown-a, &c.
|
| |
|
59
|
|
|
[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS]
|
| |
|
60
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
61
|
|
|
Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you,
|
|
62
|
|
|
go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box,
|
|
63
|
|
|
a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.
|
|
64
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
65
|
|
|
Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.
|
|
66
|
|
|
[Aside]
|
|
67
|
|
|
I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found
|
|
68
|
|
|
the young man, he would have been horn-mad.
|
|
69
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
70
|
|
|
Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
|
|
71
|
|
|
m'en vais a la cour—la grande affaire.
|
|
72
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
73
|
|
|
Is it this, sir?
|
|
74
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
75
|
|
|
Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere
|
|
76
|
|
|
is dat knave Rugby?
|
|
77
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
78
|
|
|
What, John Rugby! John!
|
|
79
|
|
|
Rugby.
|
|
80
|
|
|
Here, sir!
|
|
81
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
82
|
|
|
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,
|
|
83
|
|
|
take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.
|
|
84
|
|
|
Rugby.
|
|
85
|
|
|
'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
|
|
86
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
87
|
|
|
By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me!
|
|
88
|
|
|
Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my closet,
|
|
89
|
|
|
dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
|
|
90
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
91
|
|
|
Ay me, he'll find the young man here, and be mad!
|
|
92
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
93
|
|
|
O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron!
|
|
94
|
|
|
[Pulling SIMPLE out]
|
|
95
|
|
|
Rugby, my rapier!
|
|
96
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
97
|
|
|
Good master, be content.
|
|
98
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
99
|
|
|
Wherefore shall I be content-a?
|
|
100
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
101
|
|
|
The young man is an honest man.
|
|
102
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
103
|
|
|
What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is
|
|
104
|
|
|
no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
|
|
105
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
106
|
|
|
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth
|
|
107
|
|
|
of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
|
|
108
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
109
|
|
|
Vell.
|
|
110
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
111
|
|
|
Ay, forsooth; to desire her to—
|
|
112
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
113
|
|
|
Peace, I pray you.
|
|
114
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
115
|
|
|
Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.
|
|
116
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
117
|
|
|
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to
|
|
118
|
|
|
speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my
|
|
119
|
|
|
master in the way of marriage.
|
|
120
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
121
|
|
|
This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my
|
|
122
|
|
|
finger in the fire, and need not.
|
|
123
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
124
|
|
|
Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper.
|
|
125
|
|
|
Tarry you a little-a while.
|
| |
|
126
|
|
|
[Writes]
|
| |
|
127
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
128
|
|
|
[Aside to SIMPLE]I am glad he is so quiet: if he
|
|
129
|
|
|
had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him
|
|
130
|
|
|
so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,
|
|
131
|
|
|
man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and
|
|
132
|
|
|
the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my
|
|
133
|
|
|
master,—I may call him my master, look you, for I
|
|
134
|
|
|
keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
|
|
135
|
|
|
scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do
|
|
136
|
|
|
all myself,—
|
|
137
|
|
|
Simple.
|
|
138
|
|
|
[Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY]'Tis a great charge to
|
|
139
|
|
|
come under one body's hand.
|
|
140
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
141
|
|
|
[Aside to SIMPLE]Are you avised o' that? you
|
|
142
|
|
|
shall find it a great charge: and to be up early
|
|
143
|
|
|
and down late; but notwithstanding,—to tell you in
|
|
144
|
|
|
your ear; I would have no words of it,—my master
|
|
145
|
|
|
himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but
|
|
146
|
|
|
notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,—that's
|
|
147
|
|
|
neither here nor there.
|
|
148
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
149
|
|
|
You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by
|
|
150
|
|
|
gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee
|
|
151
|
|
|
park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest
|
|
152
|
|
|
to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good
|
|
153
|
|
|
you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two
|
|
154
|
|
|
stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw
|
|
155
|
|
|
at his dog:
|
| |
|
156
|
|
|
[Exit SIMPLE]
|
| |
|
157
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
158
|
|
|
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
|
|
159
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
160
|
|
|
It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me
|
|
161
|
|
|
dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
|
|
162
|
|
|
vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine
|
|
163
|
|
|
host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I
|
|
164
|
|
|
will myself have Anne Page.
|
|
165
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
166
|
|
|
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We
|
|
167
|
|
|
must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!
|
|
168
|
|
|
Doctor Caius.
|
|
169
|
|
|
Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have
|
|
170
|
|
|
not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my
|
|
171
|
|
|
door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
|
| |
|
172
|
|
|
[Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY]
|
| |
|
173
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
174
|
|
|
You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I
|
|
175
|
|
|
know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor
|
|
176
|
|
|
knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more
|
|
177
|
|
|
than I do with her, I thank heaven.
|
|
178
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
179
|
|
|
[Within]Who's within there? ho!
|
|
180
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
181
|
|
|
Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.
|
| |
|
182
|
|
|
[Enter FENTON]
|
| |
|
183
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
184
|
|
|
How now, good woman? how dost thou?
|
|
185
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
186
|
|
|
The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.
|
|
187
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
188
|
|
|
What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
|
|
189
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
190
|
|
|
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
|
|
191
|
|
|
gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you
|
|
192
|
|
|
that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
|
|
193
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
194
|
|
|
Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit?
|
|
195
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
196
|
|
|
Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but
|
|
197
|
|
|
notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a
|
|
198
|
|
|
book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart
|
|
199
|
|
|
above your eye?
|
|
200
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
201
|
|
|
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
|
|
202
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
203
|
|
|
Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
|
|
204
|
|
|
another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever
|
|
205
|
|
|
broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I
|
|
206
|
|
|
shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But
|
|
207
|
|
|
indeed she is given too much to allicholy and
|
|
208
|
|
|
musing: but for you—well, go to.
|
|
209
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
210
|
|
|
Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money
|
|
211
|
|
|
for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if
|
|
212
|
|
|
thou seest her before me, commend me.
|
|
213
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
214
|
|
|
Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your
|
|
215
|
|
|
worship more of the wart the next time we have
|
|
216
|
|
|
confidence; and of other wooers.
|
|
217
|
|
|
Fenton.
|
|
218
|
|
|
Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
|
|
219
|
|
|
Hostess Quickly.
|
|
220
|
|
|
Farewell to your worship.
|
|
221
|
|
|
[Exit FENTON]
|
|
222
|
|
|
Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;
|
|
223
|
|
|
for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out
|
|
224
|
|
|
upon't! what have I forgot?
|
| |
